nightmares

The following conversation takes place at 6 Am, while simultaneously making my coffee and getting the Lion his breakfast:

E: I had the most horrible dream last night.
J: Me, too!
E: What was it?
J: You first, I'm eating.
me: Okay. Well, I dreamed I was doing laundry and I found this hair clip in the pocket of your jeans that wasn't mine or Blue's. You were cheating on me! With [random girl from his office]. Oh, and Lion was vomiting profusely. What was your dream?"

J: I dreamed that Andy and I were plotting to get revenge on someone. But the plan went wrong and we were like 'Abort! Abort!' But Andy just went nuts. He killed this random old couple. Then he strangled Anna Nicole Smith. Then he blew up this beautiful house. I watched it on tv, it was like (makes loud exploding noise and gestures with his hands) So we were afraid we would get caught and were hiding out underground. And all because we wanted to kill someone's dog..."

...

E: This? This is a horrible dream? It sounds like a goofy dream to me.
J: It was scary. I could have gone to prison. And it wasn't even my fault--it was Andy.

...

E: Did you say Andy killed Anna Nicole Smith?
J: Yeah. He strangled her. Then he stuck his thumbs into her eyes all the way through to her skull.