sad, but true

Since I was about thirteen years old, I have had braces on my bottom teeth. Just across the front. Two brackets on my "fangs" and then a wire running between them along the inside of my teeth.

They aren't supposed to be there or anything. I mean, there's no reason for them. They don't hold my teeth in place or anything. They're just there.

They were left there after my orthodontist took all of my other braces off, but then my parents split up and our lives became really hectic and my orthodontist was like an hour away and blahblahblah and somehow or other I just never was taken back to the orthodontist to have these last few braces removed.

Anyway, the bracket on the left has been coming loose all week. And this morning it broke off. So then I had to take the other bracket off. Which was quite a struggle, involving me sitting up on the bathroom countertop with my feet in the sink and a screwdriver in my mouth. But it came out. And none of my teeth came out with it.

So now I have no braces!

And now I am kicking myself for not having taken them out 20 years ago! But who knew it would be so easy?!

Anyway, I didn't tell Jonny I did this. And I waited all evening for him to notice my newly naked teeth. And waited. And waited. And. Waited...

He didn't notice.

So finally I showed him and he was very excited. (Because for nine years now he has been saying, "I'll bet you could just take those off yourself.")

I pouted and told him I had been waiting all evening for him to notice.

He laughed and said, "Girl, your bottom lip is so big it would've taken me years to notice your teeth!"