Today, Gentle Reader, I am going to talk a little bit about Religion. And I'm not preaching, I'm just talking. Just airing out some confusion I'm feeling. Thasssall. Don't get your panties in a bunch, as they say.
Skip this post if you want to--I don't care. I won't even know because I don't have some kind of hidden counter on my blog to tell me if anyone other than my mom is actually reading the crap I post here. I wanted to get a counter--I think it would be cool to know if I am popular or not--but then I found out you actually had to pay for one, and I am just too cheap for that! Plus, I doubt anyone is reading this crap anyway, so I'd rather not know. I mean, I read some blogs and I am just blown away by their potent honesty. Like the Gallivanting Monkey blog. She has really summed up being a mom so well, that I think, What could I possibly have to say that could top that?
But, anyway, on to Religion.
Here's the thing: sometimes I wonder if I am really supposed to be Jewish. No, don't laugh. I have a couple of shallow reasons, and then I have some pretty valid ones. Here goes:
Shallow reason number one: My maiden name is Roth, and that is German. A lot of Germans are Jewish. Ergo, my family may have been Jewish at one time.
Very, very shallow but also very funny reason number two: My Jewish friend, Kurt, told me once, "your dad is the most Jewish-lookin' guy I've ever seen!" I look a lot like my dad. Therefore, I must look Jewish, too.
picture of my dad with the Lion
Stupid, very stupid reason number three: I love Matzoh. And Rugelach. And when I made my list recently (which I didn't bother posting but I may have to now that I am citing it) of my top ten hot-hot-hotties, five out of the ten guys I listed were Jewish! Which surprised me. I have always thought I had a thing for Englishmen, but apparently not. Apparently I have a thing for Jewish men instead. Which maybe explains why I used to have a thing for my friend, Kurt. So I love Matzoh, I love Rugelach and I apparently love Jewish men.
Valid reason number one: I don't know if I would call myself a Christian. Seriously. I was raised Catholic, and just this past year I decided I am definitely not a Catholic. Don't laugh, I am being very serious. That was a difficult decision (I guess I like definitions) but I realized I have a lot of disagreements with the Catholic church. I am still very protective--I don't like people who were not raised Catholic dissing the Catholic church for some reason, but I most definitely am not a Catholic.
This decision led me to wonder what I actually am then. I guess I would be a Christian, but the word "Christian" has a very negative connotation for me as of late. Which is sad, I suppose. But the word "Christian" has been hijacked and completely redefined for me to mean a variety of negative, political things. Which is sad, because I think being Christian should have nothing to do with your definition of a good American and everything to do with whether you are a good person. And because I think Jesus, were he alive today would not care if someone were gay or straight, Republican or Democrat, black or white or rich or poor. And he would not care if there were prayer in school or in a courthouse or before a sporting event or anywhere in public for that matter as long as there were prayer period. He would just want everyone to love everyone else and treat one another with compassion and respect, right? I mean, wasn't that, after all, his message?
Wow. So I am probably not a Christian anyway. Because I cannot bring myself to love everyone. I cannot love a pedophile. And I just cannot love these sickos--check out those big grins on their creepy faces while they hold up their messages of hate:
Anyway, so it's not that I don't believe in Jesus. I do. I believe that he lived and that he died and that he taught a lot of wonderful lessons that people may or may not follow. I just have trouble with the word "Christian."
Valid reason number two: I also--and this is much more serious--have trouble with some of the major concepts of Christianity. Like the idea that I can only get into Heaven if I pray to God through Jesus. Why do I have to go through Jesus? Or a priest? Or anyone for that matter? Why does God need a secretary? Why can't I just pray directly to God? Because I do pray. I do believe in God. I just don't tack the little "in Jesus' name, we pray" onto the end of my prayers. Because I just don't understand that part. No offense Jesus, but I'm takin' my prayers directly to God.
God, if you're not too busy, could you give me some sort of sign? Am I supposed to be Jewish? Or Christian? Just check the box, yes or no.
In the meantime, we are having the Lion baptised in two weeks. Jonathan is definitely secure in his Christianity. He has some issues with the word "Christian" too, but he is a Methodist, and they are pretty decent, non-hatin' people. I don't mind if my children are Methodists. Maybe I'll be a Methodist, too.