05 March 2007


It is really starting to sink in now that Jonathan and I will be going away. I was tucking Blue into bed tonight and she was just lying there in the halfdark staring at me. I was playing with her hair and we had just finished Goodnight Moon. I said, "goodnight, baby girl," and she said, "Mommy, don't go yet."

Yet is her latest habit. "I not sleepy yet." "No changin' my diaper yet." You get the picture. But for me, it was as if she knew I am going to leave her for almost two weeks and she was asking me not to go. Yet.

I'm not as worried about leaving Lion. Which is kind of funny since he is in a very clingy phase right now. If I even try to sneak into the bathroom, he will wind up right outside, crying and banging on the door. But I think if I can just manage to leave while he is sleeping, he will be fine. Jonathan and I went to Ocean City for 3 days when Blue was almost a year old and she was fine. We came back and it was as if she hadn't even noticed our absence. I know that this separation will be much longer, but I think he will be fine. He will be with his Grammy. And Blue will be here. Most of the time, he loves Blue.

It is Blue I am worried about. I know in the grand scheme of things, it is only 2 weeks. But to such a little girl, 2 weeks is a very long time. And she is older than the Lion, and she will definitely notice that Mommy is not around. We go downstairs together in the morning and if it is one of the days Jonathan is not working from home she's all, "Where's Daddy? Daddy workin'? Daddy at the store?" She looks for him in his office. She looks for him out the back window. It's sort of sad, actually. So she will definitely notice that we are both gone.

I know they will both have fun. They love Jonathan's mom and dad, and I know they will be very well-fed and clean and that they will probably get much more attention than when it's just me here with them. I know this. But I also know that Blue will miss me and wonder where I am and I just hope that she knows I will come back.

I have started trying to explain to her that Mommy and Daddy are going away for a few days and that Grammy will be here, but you never know how much she is getting. I'll tell her my mom is coming over for dinner and then when I ask her 5 minutes later who's coming she'll get all excited and tell me Santa Claus is coming. So it's difficult.


Me said...

I love that post. My ovaries are screaming for a child because of that post.
I hope Sadie doesn't take it too hard and I hope you don't take the mini-separation too hard either.
So, is the going to London a vacation? I thought you guys were moving there.
Either way you are going to have sooo much fun!!!!!

girlysmack said...

It's a vacation. I wish we were moving already! Jonathan is going to apply to go to grad school in England, but that would be for the 2008-2009 school year. He missed the application deadline for next year by about a week. :(

Do you think you and boy will have children early in your marriage? Look at me! You're not even married yet and I'm asking, "So, when are you two going to have a baby?"

Me said...

How exciting - about Jon going to grad school in England, i mean.
And oh I hate it when the deadlines are missed by a week or so. I always think they should let you sneak it in if you missed it by a week.
OH YES!!! about the children early in marriage thing. Oh completely yes! I feel after being together for 5 and a half years, I am so ready to have children. And girlysmack, are you sure you are not indian? Because the "So, when are you two going to have a baby?" is sooooo very much an Indian aunty question :)