Olivia and Katherine and Adrienne were over Monday night to watch a movie. I was wearing this olllldddd Gap shirt that I've had for years. It's just a tshirt with navy and white horizontal stripes. Anyone who has known me for the past 12 years will probably be thinking, "Oh, that shirt."
Anyway, Olivia told me she liked my shirt and then laughed at me and said, "It's very emo."
I told her, "I was emo before there was even a word emo."
I am not emo. I have never really been anything except nerdy. And a wannabe. When I was in school, waaaay back in the day, there was no emo, of course. I don't even think there was really goth back then. There were the usual popular kids, jocks, stoners, and geeks and then we had band geeks, skaters, metal heads, and dramees. I desperately wanted to be a dramee. I think. I think I would have loved to be popular too. Anyway, I wasn't really anything. I think my family didn't have the money to support the complete wardrobe overhaul that joining any of these castes would have required.
But I think if there were an emo back then, that would have been me. Definitely. Not that I'm even sure what emo means, being 32 years old and all, but I think the fact that I dyed my hair black in high school and wrote lots of bad poetry and cried all the time and liked the Cure and all would have been emo. Right?
But the thing that most struck me about what I said to Olivia is that I think I really just like to think of myself as a trailblazer. Haha. Which I know I am most definitely not. But I like to think I am anyway.
I don't like to be on the tail-end of fads. I like that I have been watching "Lost" since the very first episode. And I think that's why I am not watching "The Sopranos" now with Jonny on A&E. I feel like I missed the boat on that one. I mean, that is soooo 10 years ago, right? Even though it looks like an awesome show and I would probably really like it if I watched it.
I tend to like a band at first and then get annoyed when everyone else starts liking them, too, like Where have you been all this time?
Which probably means I didn't really like the band that much in the first place, but whatever.
And anyone who knows me is probably thinking, Um, Erin? You are so out of touch, though, sweetie... You don't know the newest music or even watch the newest shows... And your sense of fashion is ... um, old.
I know this. But it's the little things. Things like buying the CD "Thriller" a few years ago at Best Buy and playing it a lot at work and people made fun of me until everyone realized what a kickass CD it is and started buying it, too. Like the fact that I have been wearing Converse for years now and they are popular again and I am annoyed that they are now so much more expensive than they were before. Which is probably just inflation, but still. It bugs me. And all these silly patterns they come in now. Please... And naming my daughter something a little old-fasioned and then getting privately annoyed when I hear of any other little girl with the same name.
And the fact that I have had a crush on Patrick Dempsey for years.
Since this movie:
And I am happy he is so successful and McDreamy and all that, of course I am, but now he is one of People magazine's Most Beautiful People and people are all like, "Oh, my God, I love him!" and I'm thinking Well, where were you all these years when he was playing minor roles in movies like "With Honors" or "Sweet Home Alabama"? Where were you during the lean years?!?!