07 September 2007

girlysmacking herself in da head

We received a note from Blue's preschool teacher today:

We had to change Blue's diaper today. We are not equipped to change diapers at school, please work towards going to the bathroom in the potty. Thank you.*

And I am pretty upset.

To say the least.

I am trying to look at this objectively. I know I tend to overreact. I know this. But.

What does that mean, they are not equipped to change diapers? I put a little bag with a spare diaper and some wipes in her backpack just in case Blue had some kind of situation at school, but she isn't there for a very long period of time, so I didn't think they would really need to use it. But since I provided a diaper, doesn't that mean I equipped them?

(As Jonathan pointed out, it is required by the school that every child bring a change of clothing in case of, we can only assume, potty-training accidents so what is the big deal?)

And no one ever told us, at any point, that our child had to be fully potty trained before attending this school. Not during our tour of the school, not in the information packet they mailed to us. Yes, okay, we missed the Open House last week, but we were out of the state, on vacation. And we had already paid our registration fee and the first month's tuition by then anyway so it would have been a moot point if they mentioned it then.

I am just mostly bothered, I think, by the tone of the letter. Or am I being hypersensitive? I mean, the teacher did say please and thank you.

It's just that this is a verrrrrrryyyy sensitive topic for me. Probably for every parent. I feel very defensive about Blue not being potty trained. She did just turn three two weeks ago. Maybe she is too young for preschool. But I don't want to rush to make such a decision. She seems to enjoy it so far.

It's something I have very little control over. Potty training. The ball is in Blue's court. I can provide the potty and several books on pooping and potty usage and utilize the feel n' learn diapers and promise extravagant rewards for peeing or pooping in the potty, but that's as far as I can take it. And I really don't know if she is ready yet. I mean, she talks about the potty but tonight we tried again (and again and again) and then as soon as I put a feel n' learn diaper on her, she was like, "Mommy, I think I peed." I don't think she realizes what it feels like just before she pees. I just don't think she's ready. And I have wanted to be a supportive, understanding, patient Mommy who knows that she will not go off to college wearing Depends. That she will sort this out when she is ready.

But now I feel all this pressure from the school. Which pisses me off, if I may be perfectly honest. Please work towards going to the bathroom in the potty. What the hell? What parent of a preschooler isn't working towards going to the bathroom in the potty? Isn't that the definition of potty training? Do they think we haven't tried at all yet, or something? Okay, now I am definitely very seriously defensive, but whatever... I am pissed. No pun intended, people.

*the original note was written with a red sharpie, so I typed it in red for the full effect


Patherine said...

Whoa. Um, I agree with you, Erin. I think the tone of the letter is a little abrupt. I think you may some excellent points. The school never indicated that Sadie must be potty-trained, you did "equip" the school with the necessities, and can they seriously say Sadie the first child to wear a diaper and that no other child has wet his/her pants EVER? You can't force a child to do anything s/he doesn't want to do.

Dang. *I'm* mad too!!

Dark Fury said...

Condescending much?! Jesus. Do they think you just plan to keep in her in a diaper forever? What kind of preschool is this? Have they never met a child before? On the plus side at least they didn't say anything snarky to Sadie - - at which point you would have to kill them.

Amy said...

I would be upset, too. This doesn't explain why they are not "equipped" and doesn't have a helpful tone. If they required kids to be trained, it should have been clearly stated to you before you put any money down. I hope that you can get the teacher to explain this more. **hugs**

Me said...

That note did sound v.condescending and I would have felt sensitive about it too.

Anonymous said...

I am defintely on your sude for this one. Id on't understand why anyone thinks that 3 is this MAGICAL age when, POOF a child is potty trained. Has never made sense to me.

I would be p-e-e-v-e-d.


Roxanna said...

You know I know nothing about kids but I would be upset if I hadn't been informed of there full expectations of the 3 year olds they teach. I don't know what I would do but I would be upset. I love Sadie and the young family as a whole. I hope you guys have a good weekend.

Kerri said...

I agree with everything everyone else has said....

I just can't believe she is the only child in her class who isn't potty-trained. If so, maybe most of the kids in her class have been in daycare and have had to learn to potty train earlier? (I say that because I have a couple friends here whose children go to daycare and they were required to seriously start potty training as soon as they turned two...don't ask me how they did that, though?)

I will be interested to hear a further explanation from her teacher if you can get one...maybe you should ask her if she has any recommendations on how to make a toddler pee and poop on a potty when she doesn't want to. =)