Intervention

I bought 2 new shirts yesterday. Olivia made me try them on. She is very convincing, really. We had gone shopping because she said she wanted to price some things for her apartment, but now I am wondering if this was merely a ruse to bring me clothes shopping...

I am starting to think there is some kind of conspiracy in place to change my image. Haha, just typing that makes me smile. "My image" consists of jeans and a black t-shirt. Or sometimes, when it is super hot outside, a skirt and a white t-shirt.

Call me paranoid, but hear me out at least.

Jonny has been on my case for years. When we met, I'll admit I dressed a bit better. I had a part-time job at Express, so I could afford cute clothes. Not to mention I was considerably younger and thinner and shopping for clothes was fun.

But when I started working at Borders 10 years ago, jeans and sneakers were acceptable work attire. In fact, they were really the only work attire suitable for burrowing in the dusty stockroom for elusive titles and occasionally climbing up and down library ladders on the sales floor.

I decided that jeans and a t-shirt looked pretty good on me.

I buy my t-shirts in mostly black, brown and white. They just go with my skirts and my jeans. And, as I was telling Olivia, I sometimes wear the same shirt 2 days in a row (I know, I know, ewwww) (bite me) and if I have on some bright red t-shirt and I go out to get the mail, my neighbors would be like, "Wait a second! Wasn't she wearing a bright red shirt yesterday?" and then they would be on to me. This way my clothes are so unremarkable no one will notice if I wear them 2 days in a row. Olivia was struck speechless by this.

To illustrate how pathetic my wardrobe is, a true story:

One day, on vacation, Jonny and I went off for a day together and left the toodlers with his parents. I wore my skirt and a navy blue t-shirt. All day, Jonathan was complimenting my shirt: I can't get over how good you look ... That is such a great shirt ... Why don't you wear that shirt more often? ... You look so awesome in that color ... We finally both realized, it wasn't that I look so great in navy blue, it was that he must just be so sick and tired of seeing me in black, white and brown day in and day out (since I wear these shirts to bed, too). And how pathetic is that? And how pathetic that the so-colorful shirt in question is navy blue? I mean, I obviously thought it would blend in with all of my black and brown shirts. Or it appeared black in the store and I bought it by mistake.

Olivia told me, "You really have to get out of the mindset of dressing so casually because of the kids." And I told her, "You're right, you know. It's not like they throw up on me anymore or anything."

So she made me try on tons of shirts and I broke down and bought two of them. True, they are black, but they are still supercute, and I did try on some colorful ones.

And Jonathan is so thrilled. He has told me over and over again, "I will never get mad at you for spending money on clothes for yourself. Ever." And he is always asking me, "Why don't you go shopping with Roxanna - or one of the DWAFS?" So he was thrilled, thrilled with my new shirts! "My wife bought girl clothes!"

Now Olivia is planning an Intervention. She wants to go through my closet and figure out what I need to complete an actual wardrobe. Um, Olivia, let me just say I am not exaggerating when I say that I have about 15 items of clothing. That my "wardrobe" is pathetic. That I seriously need help.