05 December 2008

grumble, grumble

Now that I am finally feeling better, a slight depression has crept in to make me feel like crap in a whole new and improved way. I had made some plans for last week. Jonathan and I finally caught up with Jason, my old dear friend from my Richmond days last Sunday night. And he asked us to come to his parents' house in Evergreen for a huge, happy Thanksgiving day feast. So we were really looking forward to that. Sigh.

And then I invited my new friend, Shannon, to come over on Friday with her kids to decorate some gingerbread houses. We are forever making plans to get together and then I am forever cancelling for one reason or another. So, again, sigh.

So I am feeling very lonely and isolated in our new home. With the holidays approaching, I really, really miss my family. And my friends. Who I would no doubt be asking over all the time to watch Love Actually with me for the billionth time and drink something alcoholic and eat baked goods. I really have such awesome friends back home.

And then there is Glenbogle house. Which seems so overwhelming sometimes. It really sucks, living this way. With boxes and disorder in every room still. And all of our kitchen items all over the place -- some piled on the dining room table, some on an endtable in the breakfast nook, most still in boxes in the sunroom. We have not had a working kitchen sink in two days. There are dirty dishes in a pile on the dining room floor. At which Mabel, bless her heart, has not so much as glanced.

I will spend hours painting the horrible dark brown beadboard in the family room, knowing it will still need an infinite number of coats to finally be truly white, and I will sit up to stretch my back and see the half-painted bookcase, the windows that need cleaning and trim-painting, the still-dark brown doors everywhere, the kitchen cabinets with no doors and that also need priming and painting, the dirty dingy ceiling, the ugly brown seventies banister that will need hours, days, weeks, probably months of priming and painting and I could just scream. And I do. Mostly at poor Mabel and the restless kids. To get away from the wet paint, to get all of their toys off the stairs, to leave the dog alone, to keep their hands to themselves...

But tomorrow we are taking a break from renovations. And we are going to the Aquarium. Because the kids need a bit of a fun day, too. And we are meeting up with Shannon and her children there, thanks to Jonny's plotting, so I can hardly wait. Should be a great day.

Jonathan came in here and told me to let him deal with the kids, put them to bed and all that, and that I should just go lay in bed with a good book and I snapped at the poor man! And realized what I had done and laughed at myself for being such a jerk and apologized. And then told him to get out of here before I punched him in the face.

6 comments:

Olivia said...

Just hang in there lady. We are all routing for you back home. :)

Miss you terribly,

Olivia "I Hate Uncle Jamie!" East

Elisa said...

OMG! I do the same thing...I will apologize and the tell J that I am going to bite his face off...is that mean or what? Yesterday was a BAD day and I took something the wrong way in an email and J said, "why are you being so selfish?" I FREAKED OUT on him and then spent the rest of the day crying at stupid dog commercials! UGH!

Your energy is probably so zapped that you don't know which end is up right now. Just take a lot of vitamin C. You will feel better soon :) We miss you too!!

Quinn said...

Sweetiepie, you probably are still not over that stuff that you had. I am really looking forward to getting busy with the paint brush, so leave the beadboard for me. Concentrate on the kitchen cabinets. Things will feel more normal when you have a working kitchen. See you soon! But not soon enough.....

Love,
Mom

Anonymous said...

Stop your bitching and get back to work!!!

And where's my dinner, woman?!?!?!

hee hee...

;)

-J

jeremyandchristina said...

not to get all serious and sappy, but i think you just need to give yourself a break. in some ways, you are going through a grieving process moving from va to co. it makes perfect sense that you could be in love with your new life, but at the same time miss (grieve) your old life. you are allowed to have days when you are happy, days when you are angry, days when you question your change(s), days when you are sad... and you come out accepting where you are when the process is done. give yourself a break, a hug, and know we are all thinking of you guys. okay - don't hate me for being so annoying. :( just wanted to pass on some support and remind you that you ARE normal for feeling this way and it WILL get better. xxoo

girlysmack said...

Christina, I lurve you...