from the onion

Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each Of Us

WASHINGTON, DC-Osama bin Laden was found hiding deep inside the darkest regions of our souls.

"I see dead people"

The other morning, I was walking down the stairs with Blue in my arms and we stopped to look out the window. It was very misty and still outside; everything was covered in frost.

We have a very wooded lot that is adjacent to the Fredericksburg Battlefield on two sides. The part we were looking at actually has a trench that runs along our property, parallel to our house.

"Who's that, Mommy?"

Blue has been mixing up the words who and what. Which sounds pretty spooky sometimes. Like when I am upstairs in her bedroom tucking her in at night and she says, "Who's that at my window?" (It's always the moon.)

I looked around for anything she could be talking about. I didn't see a thing. No deer, no squirrels. No signs of life.

I told her, "Those are trees, baby."

"No," she said. "Who's that?"

"Who's what?" Now I was really confused.

"The people," she said.

I looked again. "What people, honey?"

"All the people. Who's that?" she asked again, pointing.

By now I was getting a little creeped out. It's very easy for me to look out at the yard sometimes and imagine Civil War soldiers back there. And it was, as I mentioned, a very cold, still morning.

I hugged my Blue and dashed down the stairs and said, "Let's get some breakfast!"

How freakin' creepy.

i knew it

I just received this email from Andrea in response to my house rules post:

well...

i was checking your blog, as i do everyday, and had to stop halfway. you TOTALLY called me out. i was literally thinking THANK GOD, and then you told me to shut up. i didn't even finish because i was laughing so hard.

i love you and i am so happy for you guys. (btw...10 pounds is awesome)

my mom cares

house rules

I guess it's time for an update on the London Diet. As of this week, I have only lost 10 pounds of the 35 I am trying to shed. But (and this is a big fat, morbidly obese but) Jonathan and I were checking our BMI last night, and at my current weight I am in the Normal range for my height! Yay, me! A mere month ago, I was in the Slightly Overweight range.

I had to laugh, though, because one website we checked said my BMI

...falls within the normal range, which is good news for you! It means that your attention to your weight and physical fitness has helped to minimize your risk for diseases like...
and that really cracked us both up because I pay absolutely no attention whatsoever to physical fitness! I am trying to move a bit more, though, and I have hopes of one day being much more active than I am now.

I am also no longer doing the ol' coffee-and-Lean-Cuisine diet. Jonathan has been reading the new book by Dr. Oz which focuses more on the amount of abdominal fat you have than how much you weigh. His advice is basically to eat healthier, and so we are. I can hear Andrea heaving a huge sigh of relief. I can hear you, Andrea. Shut up!

I must admit I am a complete moron when it comes to nutrition. (So much of a moron, in fact, that I spelled nutrition two different ways on this post--neither of which was correct.) It's way too much like math or chemistry for me to follow. So Jonathan has been giving me a few basic rules to follow. Like, for example I am at least reading part of the nutrition label on all the foods I eat. I am cutting out all trans fats and saturated fats from my diet.

No Trans Fat
No Saturated Fat

And so far, I've been eating very much the same as before! I can still eat little frozen entrees for lunch, but now I buy Kashi ones or Amy's organic. And, let me just say, they are deeeelicious! We switched to whole grain bread and pasta and organic peanut butter and for dessert every night we each have a piece of dark chocolate that is at least 70% cocoa. So it's been pretty easy--and not only have I lost these 10 pounds, but I feel a little better. Which may just be partly because I know I am treating my body with a little more dignity, but whatever...

Anyway, that's the London Diet update.

Baby update:

Blue is really asserting her independence lately (i.e. testing my patience)! For a while there, I was sticking her in time-out practically all morning. So now I have picked my battles and they are:

No Hitting
No Yelling
and
Eat Your Dinner

so if she breaks any of those cardinal rules, she sits on the step. Any other lesser misdemeanors and Jonathan and I just grit our teeth and try to be patient. The hardest thing is trying to set a good example. The No Yelling rule only makes sense if Mommy and Daddy don't yell either. Which is very hard. Especially for Jonathan. He is a very excitable guy and he tends to yell a lot. Now he just turns red and speaks very quietly and ominously, which prompts Blue to tell him to "Be happy, Daddy."

The Lion has 7 teeth now! He is still not showing any inclination to stand without hanging onto something or to walk without pushing Blue's baby stroller. Which is fine by me. I am really in no hurry for him to leave babyhood--especially when I see how crazy toddlers are!

I do feel like I have been very lax in trying to teach him to walk, though, so for the past few days I have been holding his humongous hands in mine and pulling him to a standing position. Which gets us nowhere, because he refuses to stay in a standing postition! He just squeals with excitement and bounces up and down. He's wild! He used to do this a lot whenever anyone stood him up on their lap. Every time the Lion would bounce up and down on my brother-in-law, Tim's lap, Tim would say, "Drop it like it's hot! Drop it like it's hot!"

beautiful snow

This is Little Lion Man:


This is Little Lion Man admiring the falling snow:

Jonathan did take him outside for a moment so he could feel the snowflakes, but Lion didn't seem that impressed! Which was fine with me, since he is finally (knock on wood!) getting over the two ear infections that have been plaguing him since Christmas.

Blue played outside with Jonathan, which must have been exhausting for him! He pushed her on the swing, set her up on the top of the slide about a billion times, dragged her around the yard in her red wagon, pulled her around the driveway on her Dora bike, kicked a ball at her (and then chased after it whenever she kicked it into the woods) and just ran around the yard with her like a giant goofball while the Lion and I watched them from the warmth of the kitchen.

BIll O'Reilly Defends Pedophiles