Happy Birthday, Blue!

painful

And now for a sad, sad tale...

Jonathan, Blue, the Lion and I were just returning from a visit to the Wal-mart.

Before we even realized what had happened, while we were both trying to get Blue to come with us into the house, she stuck her hand behind one of our shutters. Jonathan yelled "No!" and said to me, "There are probably wasps back there."

Well, you can see where this is going...

I went in the house with Lion and Blue ran over to Jonathan, who picked her up and carried her into the house. Suddenly, she started screaming and crying and saying, "Outside!" over and over. So at first I thought she was upset that we made her come into the house. Then I noticed she was clutching her little hands together.

Damn.

So we ran cold water over her hand and watched as one of her beautiful little fingers grew to be twice as large as her other fingers. We gave her some Motrin and I carried her up to bed.

It is awful, awful to watch Blue cry. I mean to watch her really cry. She has little mini-meltdowns all day long (have I mentioned she turns two on Sunday?) where I need to sit her down and ask her, "What's the matter? Why are you crying?" But this crying was in a completely different league. This was I-am-in-pain-Mommy-make-it-stop crying. It broke my heart to hear her. My Blue is so tough. I've seen her bump into things, fall down, basically take knocks that would definitely bring me to tears.

It was horrible. Horrible. I am seriously, absolutely terrified of wasps and I would rather be stung over and over than hear my Blue cry and see her little finger swell up like that.

Parenting, as they say, is not for wimps.

My list of 6 things I hate should have been:
wasps, wasps, wasps, wasps, wasps, wasps--how dare you bastards sting my Blue?!?! I am glad you die after you sting someone, you miserable, horrible creatures! I hope it's really painful. I hope you suffer.

They do die, don't they?

After I put Blue to bed, Jonathan went outside, found the wasp nest behind the shutter and sprayed an entire can of wasp spray on it. Take that, wasps!!! Die die die!!!!!!

6 things I hate

1. mosquitos
2. talking on the phone
3. bad drivers
4. weak coffee
5. shopping in Wal-mart
6. people who don't bother to Rsvp

Emily

My niece, Emily, has been staying over a lot this month, helping me out with the babies before she goes back to school. She is 11. Man, is she funny!

She is wonderful with the children--just loves feeding the Lion and changing diapers. She also watches a lot of TV. All those reality shows--like Little People, Big World and 10 Years Younger. But her favorite, favorite show is The Suite Life of Zack and Cody on the Disney channel. I was in the guest room while she was getting into bed last night, and there was a little picture of either Zack or Cody (whichever one is Cole Sprouse) in a frame by the bed! So I am learning a lot about Cole Sprouse while she is here. His favorite color, for example, is blue.

This reminds me of my crush on Zack Morris from Saved by the Bell.

Here's a good one--the other morning, I was in here, on the computer, and Emily came rushing in, saying, "Aunt Erin, did you know Alicia Keyes has AIDS?" I was like, "Oh my God! Where did you hear that?" And she told me, "It was just on the bottom of the TV screen. It said Alicia Keyes fights AIDS!"

Briefly

I realize I haven't posted anything other than lists in a while. Did I mention I have two babies? Is that excuse getting old? Is Blue really still a baby?

I can't believe she will be two in less than two weeks. I can't believe I didn't even mention Lion Man's baptism. It went very, very smoothly.

Things I will remember about the day:

• how incredibly well Lion and Blue behaved
• Blue saying Lion's name over and over and pointing while the minister introduced the Lion to the congregation
• how cute Lion looked, with his little round apple face, while the minister held him
• Blue wearing the gold cross my Grandma sent to her for her baptism
• the insane amount of leftover pasta salad Jonathan and I tried to eat all week after the baptism

And so, another list! I will try to sneak in here to write something more substantial tomorrow. It's funny. I was asking Jonathan, "Why on earth would anyone want to read about the lame details of my day?" And he said, "Because it's just like watching reality television." Hmmm, yeah, except I am not incredibly hot or willing to commit random acts of fearlessness or eat anything disgusting. Blue did eat a bug today while in her sandbox, though.

And now for some cuteness:

6 books

that are like old friends:

1. Little Women
2. Pride & Prejudice
3. Persuasion
4. Range of Motion by Elizabeth Berg
5. Star-Spangled Summer by Janet Lambert
6. Under Gemini by Rosamund Pilcher

I really, really miss reading. I don't feel like my Self somehow.

It was hard to come up with this list. I can't believe I left off Agatha Christie. And Mary Stewart... But these are the books I have read more times than any others. I think. Maybe next week I'll list "6 More Books."

from the Onion

Least Recommended Toilet-Training Books For Children

1. Only Girls Wipe
2. The Domineering Mother and Her Obsessively Neat Son
3. Little Timmy Disappears Forever
4. The Berenstain Bears Shit in the Woods
5. No Longer Mama's Baby
6. Mermaids Are Girls Who Pushed Too Hard (and Other Stories)

posted in honor of my Bluebird, whose favorite words right now are "poop" and "potty" and "poopin' intha potty"

a conversation first thing in the morning

Blue (holding up a spatula): What's this?
Jonathan: a spatula

Blue (holding up a spatula): What's this?
Jonathan: a spatula

Blue (holding up a spatula): What's this?
Jonathan: a spatula

Blue (holding up a spatula): What's this?
Jonathan: a spatula
Blue (holding up a spatula): What's this?
Jonathan: a spatula
Blue (holding up a spatula): What's this?
Jonathan: a spatula
Blue (holding up a spatula): What's this?
Jonathan: your mom

6 essential things

1. coffee
2. Coffeemate
3. my glasses
4. Burt's Bees lip balm
5. Zoloft
6. undereye concealer