It Gets Better, Right?

Little Lion Man is 5 weeks old now, and I still haven't really settled into a routine. Unless you count "sleeping" with him on the couch at night and getting by with lots of coffee a routine.

His eye is all gross again.

Speaking of gross, Blue keeps getting into her diapers at night. We have even resorted to cutting the feet off of her jammies and putting them on her backwards like a strait-jacket. She still manages to somehow worm out of the neckhole without unzipping them. That kid is just way too skinny.

The Lion has been crying like crazy now at night and after every meal and arching his back like Blue used to, so we took him to the doctor again. Sure enough, he has acid reflux just like she did. So he is now on medication three times a day and drinking formula with rice cereal added. At least we knew the signs and knew what to do to treat this. He should stop all this crying in a week or so, which is none too soon if you ask me. Every night now I am pacing around the house with him while we both cry.

Blue is growing more and more willful, I think because I am forced to spend more and more of my time trying to soothe the Lion. I've started putting her in time-out, if you can believe that, and she's not even 2 years old!

I guess I'll look back on these days and tell funny little anecdotes and marvel at how we ever got through it. I was talking to Christina last week, laughing at a dumb fight Jonathan and I had when we were all stressed out right after Blue was born. She said, "It's wonderful that you can laugh at it." Will I ever find this time of my life funny, too, I wonder, because it sure isn't funny now...

On a positive note, Jonathan and I are going to the Kennedy Center on Saturday night to see Andrea perform. Then she is visiting for 2 days. I cannot wait to see her. I feel so isolated, in the house with a crying baby and a screaming toddler all day and all night. I cannot wait to talk about non-baby things. I cannot wait to hear how she is doing since her break-up with Danny. I think this visit will be therapeudic for both of us.

Would you believe

she did it again?! There's nothing like cleaning up crap 2 days in a row... I have the song "Save Me" by Queen running through my head right now.

My Yucky Day

I was dozing on the couch with the Lion while Jonathan was hard at work in the office, when suddenly we heard Blue crying up in her room. She rarely ever cries, so I set Lion on his activity mat and ran upstairs to see what was wrong. There was my adorable daughter, standing naked in her crib, with rabbit pellets of poo all over her and her crib! I guess I yelled something like, "Ewww!" or "Oh, no!" because Jonathan came running up to see what was going on. He gave Blue her first shower while I cleaned the hell out of her crib. (Note to self: Never buy a used crib!)



So then, just now, I had given the Lion a bottle and went to pick him up out his bouncy seat... which was up on the kitchen island (I know, I know, that is a terrible place to put a bouncy seat, I know) ...and he threw up all over the place. All down the sides of our kitchen cabinets, all over the island and, of course, the floor. Somehow I didn't get a drop on me, which amazed Jonathan, but yuck.
And now I'm sure everyone is so eager to come over to my house for a meal, right? What can I say? Kids are gross.

Apology

My mother would like for me to state that she did not post that list of naughty websites on my blog last week. She is, furthermore, offended that I even thought she was responsible, and very highly offended that I thought of her right away. She is also very highly offended that I am banning her from feeding Blue any more cheese puffs and Tasty Cakes.

Sorry, Mom! It must have been blog spam, like Amy suggested. I'm sorry that I ever thought you would accidentally send a creepy list of adult websites somehow while trying to post a comment on my blog. I didn't mean to imply that you were either a pervert or a computer moron.

But as for stuffing Blue full of cheese puffs and Tasty Cakes--I still say, "No way!" At least wait until she is out of diapers. I don't want to wind up on the "Help! My Baby Weighs More Than Me" episode of the "Maury" show with the woman who put rootbeer in her baby's bottle!


Mom with Little Lion Man, February 21, 2006

25 pounds

I weighed myself this morning, and I have lost 25 pounds so far. And as Jonathan would say, that's 100 sticks of butter! I still have a good 30 pounds to go, so I'm (sigh) not even halfway there yet, but it's only been 3 weeks (today!) so I think that's pretty good...

He and I are both dieting, since he claims he gained baby-weight, too. I don't see it--I think he looks wonderful--but I guess it's more important that he thinks he look wonderful, so I am being as supportive as I can. We are on very opposite diets. He is on the Atkins diet, which worked really well for him in the past. My friend, Velvet, said one time that Atkins is a "man's diet" and I think she's right. I tried it a few years ago, and I guess it was working, but it is just not possible for me to survive on meat and eggs! So I am doing the coffee-and-Lean Cuisine diet which worked so well for me after Blue was born. I know it's not the healthiest diet, but I think it's the perfect diet for a new mom (as long as she isn't breast-feeding!) because the coffee keeps me awake and suppresses my appetite a bit and the Lean Cuisines... well, they keep me from cooking and doing too many dishes!

Anyway, I've been too busy to even eat, really. Which I've heard other moms say, but I never really believed until now. I didn't get to finish my morning cup of coffee yesterday until about 3 pm. It was my first day without Jonathan but I've gotten a lot of help. His mom spent the night Sunday night so we both got a good 8 hours of sleep. It's funny to think that that is the first time we have both slept together for more than 3 hours at a time in 3 weeks. And she is coming over tonight to spend the night again--which is awesome!

I should be napping right now, since Blue is taking a nap, but the Lion is very restless and I know the moment I fell asleep he would wake up and start crying, so I figure--why try? Especially if Jonathan's mother will be over tonight to baby-sit for me.

"Jonathan's mother!" I sound so ridiculous! Why is it so hard to figure out what to call her?! She told me to call them "Mom" and "Dad" when Jonathan and I became engaged, and I've tried, but... I don't know. I do call Mr. Young "Dad" now, but actually now that I really think about it, I don't think I've ever called him that to his face. It's mostly when I am talking with Jonathan's mother. And I don't call her "Mom" at all. I guess because I don't talk to Jonathan's father as often as I talk to her and if I'm talking to Jonathan I say "your mom" and "your dad" so it hasn't really come up. The few times I've tried to call her "Mom" it just felt weird. "Mom" is my mother.

So then she suggested I call them by their first names. But that seems disrespectful to me. Growing up, my brothers and I never called anyone our parents' age by their first names. I mean, now children do it all the time. My friends' children call me "Miss Erin" and it doesn't bother me, but I can't help wondering if it would be old-fashioned to have Blue and the Lion use my friends' surnames instead. It's just how I was raised. But that's another topic...

So "Susan" and "Shelton" seems too casual, and "Mr. and Mrs. Young" seems way too formal. Maybe I should just give them catchy nicknames like "Starsky" and "Hutch" and call them that instead. Haha. I can just picture me calling Jonathan's dad "Hutch." Man, I should get some sleep...

My Little Cupcake

Comments I Received Yesterday

Whoa! I had to delete this one comment I got on my last post. It wasn't really a comment, it was just a list of all these kinky links--if you're into that sort of thing, some of the funnier ones listed were:

Big Tits Patrol
Black Meat White Treat
I Spy Camel Toe
Mr. Chews Asian Beaver
Please Bang My Wife
Teeny Bopper Club
The Big Swallow

Anyway, what I think is so hysterically funny about this--I think this was somehow my mother trying to post a comment! She was asking me about posting comments on my blog just this morning on the phone, and she's not too computer-savvy (sorry, mom!) . Plus the username was "your" so I think she was trying to type "your mom."

I mean, I could be wrong--I, myself, am not terribly computer-savvy and I am also very new to the whole blogging scene. For example, I also received a very nice comment yesterday from someone named Nicole who says she really likes my blog. And first of all I thought, is she for real? I mean, all I talk about are my babies and how in love I am--how lame is that? And then I'm like, do I thank her? And how would I even do that? (I guess I just did.)

And as for that other, pervy comment--if it's not from my mother, then all I can say is "Sorry I ever doubted you, Mom, and whoever you really are, go pick on some other blogger!"

Man-on-Man Defense

Wow! We took Blue and the Lion to the doctor's today (Blue was due for her 18-month well-baby check-up and the Lion was due for his 2-week check-up). I didn't think we would ever get out the door! It must just drive Jonathan crazy--he is always sooo punctual.

We have been employing a sort-of Man-on-Man defensive strategy so far and it seems to be working. Basically, Jonathan takes care of Blue and I handle the Lion. Anyway, this technique will have to end on Monday when Jonathan returns to work, and then it will be all up to me, and if you are any good at math you will have noticed that I will be outnumbered 2 to 1. I have no idea how I will swing this, but so many women have done it before me, that I guess I will just figure it out as I go along! It can't be that hard, right?! And I actually picked Blue up just now despite my doctor's order to wait 6 weeks--and I survived. So, we'll see...

Anyway, today's doctor visit went well. The Lion's eyes look a lot better--thank you, Christina, for the tip about the baby shampoo! Both babies are very tall for their ages. They must take after their Daddy. And we were very proud of Blue. She was very well-behaved.

When we got home, we all decided the driveway looked a little boring, so Blue and I spruced it up a bit with some sidewalk chalk. Then as we were heading back inside, I asked her "Do you want some milk?" and she said "No" and shook her head. Jonathan and I are just amazed. I guess we should have figured she would eventually answer us at some point, but it has become so routine to just ask her rhetorical questions and keep up a one-sided dialogue. It's as if the dog answered us, we were that startled. Does this count, then, as my first conversation with my daughter? I'm counting it. I think my previous running commentary with her occasionally replying "Balloon" somehow just isn't quite on par with this.

Uh-oh, I've gotta run. Jonathan is upstairs playing with Blue and my Little Lion Man is waking up--hungry, from the sound of it!

Namaste

tonight,
as every night,
i stand over you.

i place a cupped
hand on your chest to
feel your body fill with air.

reassured,
for now you are fine,
for now.

emotion burbles
in my head,
leaks into my ears
and out of my eyes.

i want everything for
you

everything good

marshmallows, a lemonade
stand, white sand, green corn
tamales, sidewalks and marine
layer mornings

newsprint on your fingers,
bubble baths, earthworms in
black dirt, satellite t.v. and
and at least one big win

grilled tomatoes, a dog with
yawning eyes, a place to hide,
hammocks in the summertime

a moment like this

Rachel Iverson

Nasty Little Lion

Whew! We went out for the first time today as a family of four to take Little Lion Man to the doctor's office. He has been having some trouble with his right eye getting all crusty. So we brought him to see the doctor again. It's nothing major. Apparently, one of his tear ducts is a little small, so he may have this happen from time to time. It's fairly common, and it should be fine by his first birthday. We have a prescription for eye drops for him--so no big deal, thank God! I just imagine it getting all nasty again around every holiday or photo shoot for the first year... Maybe I'll get him a little pirate eye patch just to be prepared!

Which reminds me, the Oscars are this Sunday and I am so excited! I just love the Oscars. Aunt Lizzie sent a billion little outfits for the baby before he was born and there's one that's cowboy-themed. It has horses and cowboys and lassoes on it and says "Giddy-up" and "Yippee-Kai-Yay" all over it. It is super cute. I've already put it on him twice, and he's only been home for 5 days! Anyway, I may have Lion wear it on Sunday, in honor of "Brokeback Mountain" being nominated so many times. Now I need to think of an outfit equally Oscar-worthy for Blue. What else is even nominated? I could always dress her in black like Johnny Cash, but that's just not as cute... If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them...

Sad Baby, Sick Baby

Wow! What a week... I am recuperating from my c-section. Slowly. It's hard because I feel like I am constantly asking Jonathan to do things for me. And it's very, very hard to not hold Blue. I am not allowed to lift her for 6 weeks, and she can't sit on my lap yet because of my incision.

She has been having a little trouble adjusting. And it's not the new baby that is the problem--it's me. Which is something I didn't really consider before. I thought she would have issues with jealousy, but so far she just points at Lion and says "baby."

I knew she would miss me while I was in the hospital, but I didn't really think it would have such an effect on her. When we first came home, she ignored me. She wouldn't look at me or talk to me or anything. That broke my heart. She is my little buddy. We are together almost all day every day. It must have been very confusing for her to not have me around. I know she loves her grandparents and her Aunt Mary, but still... I'm sure she wondered where on earth I was. I have just always been around.

She is starting to come around, though. She is looking at me, and she is talking to me now, but she is still much quieter than before and she is not eating as much, and she is verrrrry crabby. I think it is upsetting her that I haven't held her, and yet she sees me holding the baby.

Jonathan has been amazing with her. He is so tired--not just from a general lack of sleep, but from helping me get around and from getting up in the night with the Lion and from taking care of Blue without any real help from me. And Blue has been a real pill sometimes! But he is so patient with her--really wonderful. I know he is not always the most patient man (what an understatement!) but he has not lost his cool with her yet. He plays with her and makes her laugh, gently admonishes her when she misbehaves, reads with her, fixes all of her meals for her, gives her baths (and gets completely soaked!), holds her up to my face to "give Mommy a kiss." And these are things he does all the time, but normally I take care of her for the majority of the day. I mean, since we came home with Lion, she has been hitting a lot--she even hit him in the face earlier today--and he still hasn't lost his cool! I am so impressed. I don't know if I could be as patient.

He says he just feels sorry for her, and that he understands how she feels because he must have felt the same way when Mary was born. My poor girl... it kills me that I can't pick her up! She fell and hit her head yesterday, and I could hug her, but I'm sure it hurt her feelings that I didn't pick her up and comfort her like I usually do.

Tomorrow I am going to really make an effort to spend time with her, just the two of us. No matter how tired I am, and no matter how swollen my feet and legs are. And I am going to be the one to read her her Goodnight Moon book at bedtime even though I can't lift her to help brush her teeth or put her in her crib.

The Lion is doing much better, on the other hand. He had jaundice. I've never thought jaundice was a big deal--Blue had it and my niece and nephew both had it, too. But his number was pretty high. I never knew how serious that is. (Severe jaundice can cause hearing loss and brain damage!) At first we were afraid he would have to stay in the hospital. But he was allowed to come home--we just had to keep him wrapped up in this special "bilirubin blanket" that glowed bright blue with ultra violet light. It was such a pain, keeping him next to the electrical outlet, plugging and unplugging him every time we took him out of his crib to change his diaper, but he had to be on it for at least 20 hours a day. It was very scary, though, because he was so yellow and the whites of his eyes were even bright yellow. He had lost almost a pound at the hospital and he wouldn't eat. We had to set the alarm for every 2 hours and force-feed him. But he looks much better now, and he doesn't have to be wrapped in the blanket anymore. And the best part is he has gained back almost all of the weight he lost. He wakes us up now at night, every 3 hours or so, and he eats 2 ounces at each feeding. It's funny, I used to pray he would sleep through the night very early on like Blue did, but now I'm just so happy to see him alert and eating, that I really don't mind being up in the night. And Jonathan and I have some really awesome conversations around 4 in the morning! It's nice.

We have been getting along so well. Man! Last time around, we fought all the time--I think I even threatened to go stay with my mom for a while! And I was being so horrible I'm surprised he didn't pack my bags for me! But this time has been great. He even told me, "This may sound crazy, but this has been one of the best weeks of my life."

He has been so amazing with the Lion. He was the one who decided we should set the alarm to feed him, and he calculated just how much we should try to get him to eat at each feeding. He kept track of how much Lion ate and when, and how many wet and dirty diapers he had and when--the pediatrician was very impressed. And now Lion is doing so well! Someday he'll be eating us out of house and home, and I'll tell him all about how he wouldn't eat when he was a baby, and how his father nursed him back to health. And he'll probably say, "yeah, yeah, I know. You've told me this story a thousand times!"